From the Booking Call to Offer Night: Where Buyers Give Away Their Position, and Why You Shouldn’t Go Around Your Agent
Follow one house from the first phone call to offer night. At every stop there is something a buyer tends to say, someone it reaches, and a simpler way to handle it.
Does the seller’s agent have to keep what I tell them at a showing confidential?
No. Under Ontario’s Code of Ethics for real estate registrants, the confidentiality duty in s.12 protects a registrant’s own client, and the listing brokerage’s client is the seller, whose best interests it must promote and protect under s.8(1). Toward you it owes honesty, good faith and accurate representations (ss.1 and 5), not secrecy. The only brokerage whose confidentiality duty runs to you is the one you have signed with.
Source: Code of Ethics, O. Reg. 365/22 under the Trust in Real Estate Services Act, 2002, ss. 1, 5, 8(1), 12 (Ontario e-Laws, 2026)
It usually starts with a phone call. You drive past a lawn sign on a Saturday morning, call the number, and ask whether you can see the place this afternoon. The person on the line is friendly and asks a couple of easy questions: are you working with an agent, and when are you hoping to move? You haven’t seen a single room yet, and you may already have told the seller’s side your timeline.
I’m Arthur Zhao, a real estate broker in Ontario, and this is the reminder I give my own buyers before we start booking. Nobody in this story is doing anything wrong. The listing agent works for the seller, and the rules say so. What follows is one house, stop by stop: what you might say at each point, who ends up holding it, and what to do instead.
Before the first stop: whose side each person is on
The person who answers the lawn-sign number, hosts the open house, or shows you through on a weeknight is almost always the listing brokerage or someone working for it. According to Ontario’s Code of Ethics for real estate registrants (O. Reg. 365/22), a registrant representing a client must promote and protect the best interests of its clients (s.8(1)). The seller is that client.
That agent still owes you something: courtesy, honesty, good faith and integrity toward every person they deal with (s.1), and best efforts to keep their representations accurate and not misleading (s.5). What they don’t owe you is confidentiality. Section 12 protects the confidential information of a client, and you aren’t theirs. If you tell them something useful, passing it to the seller is part of the job.
Keep that in mind at each stop below.
Stop 1: Booking the showing or walking into the open house
Where it goes: the listing brokerage. These questions are often just conversation, and a seller who knows a buyer has a deadline still has more information than before.
What to do instead: if you already have an agent, say so and give their name. Under s.14 of the Code, once a registrant knows or ought to know you’re another registrant’s client, they may communicate information to you for the purpose of the trade only through your agent, unless your agent consents in writing. If you don’t have an agent yet, you are a self-represented party for that trade. The listing brokerage can’t give you services, opinions or advice (s.10), and before it gives you any assistance it has to give you RECO’s information form (O. Reg. 567/05, s.13.1). Either way, a short answer about your timing is enough: “We’re flexible, our agent can talk about dates.”
Stop 2: Walking through the rooms
Where it goes: to the host if they’re within earshot, to the seller if they’re home, and possibly to a camera or doorbell recorder.
On recording, the law doesn’t give a yes or no answer, and I’m not going to pretend it does. Section 184(1) of the Criminal Code makes it an offence to knowingly intercept a private communication with a device. Section 184(2)(a) creates the exception people call “one-party consent”: the offence doesn’t apply when either the person speaking or the person they meant to speak to consents. Whether your remark in a stranger’s living room is a private communication depends on s.183: was it reasonable for you to expect nobody else would intercept it? That depends on the facts, such as whether there were posted signs and who else was in the room. Your negotiating position isn’t worth testing that question. Assume a device is running, and save the real discussion for the car.
ℹ️This is general information about how the rules are set up, not legal advice about a recording or a conversation in your own situation. If you think you were recorded, or something you said is being used against you, talk to a lawyer.
Stop 3: Leaving, and the text or call afterwards
Where it goes: into writing, with a timestamp, held by the other side.
Nothing in the rules stops a buyer from contacting a seller. Section 14 binds registrants, not consumers. The problem is practical:
- Your reply to the listing agent still reaches the seller. Section 14 controls what the listing agent sends to you. It does nothing to stop your own message from arriving with them.
- A direct message to the seller skips both professionals. Your agent can’t shape what you say, and the seller will probably forward it to their agent anyway.
- Casual words become an anchor. “We could probably do around X” in a friendly text sets a floor before your agent has priced the house against the comparables.
Instead, forward the follow-up to your own agent and let them answer. If you have a question for the seller, such as why they’re selling, how old the roof is, or what’s included, send it to your agent and let it reach the seller through the agents.
Stop 4: Offer night
What tends to slip out tonight: calls or messages to the listing agent while your offer is being considered, asking how you compare or what it would take.
What to do instead: one channel. Your agent presents and negotiates, and your agent owes you the duties the listing agent owes the seller: best interests under s.8(1) and confidentiality of your information under s.12, which they can’t disclose without your written consent. Anything you want the other side to know, such as flexibility on closing or a clean offer, is more useful delivered on purpose, at the right time, by the person whose job is to deliver it.
💡 My own view: the information that hurts a buyer rarely comes out at once. It builds up over the stops: a move date on the phone, a comment in the kitchen, a friendly reply to a text. Each one is harmless alone, but by offer night the other side has a fairly complete picture of you. That’s why I ask my buyers to make their own agent the only channel from the first call to the signed offer. Nobody else is breaking a rule. You’re the only person in the process with no duty to protect your own position unless you choose to.
A pocket checklist, stop by stop
| Stop | Keep to yourself | Fine to say |
|---|---|---|
| Booking / arriving | Deadlines, sold status, pre-approval figure | Your agent’s name; “we’re flexible on timing” |
| Walking through | Budget talk, ranking against other houses, “this is the one” | Factual questions: age of roof and furnace, inclusions, utility costs |
| After the visit | Numbers, how much you liked it, direct messages to the seller | “Thanks, my agent will be in touch” |
| Offer night | Side calls to the listing agent | Everything, to your own agent |
- Code of Ethics, O. Reg. 365/22 (Trust in Real Estate Services Act, 2002), ss. 1, 5, 8(1), 10, 12, 14
- O. Reg. 567/05 (General), s. 1(5) self-represented party criterion; s. 13.1 information to self-represented parties
- Criminal Code, R.S.C. 1985, c. C-46, s. 184 (interception; consent exception in s. 184(2)(a))
- Criminal Code, s. 183, definition of “private communication”
Listing Agent Risk →Negotiation Info Advantage →Someone Slips at Your Open House — Are You Liable? Ontario’s Occupiers’ Liability Act, Explained for Sellers and Landlords →Ontario Home Buying Guide →
Frequently Asked Questions
The listing agent texted me after the showing asking what I thought. Should I reply?
A short, polite reply is fine, as long as it doesn’t contain your opinion of the price, how much you liked the house, or your timing. The listing agent represents the seller and owes the seller best-interests duties under s.8(1) of Ontario’s Code of Ethics (O. Reg. 365/22), so assume anything useful you write will be passed on. If you have an agent, forward the text and let them answer.
I already have an agent. Is the seller’s agent allowed to talk to me directly?
For the purposes of the deal, generally not. Section 14 of the Code of Ethics says a registrant who knows or ought to know you are another registrant’s client may communicate information to you only through your agent, unless your agent consents in writing. The rule limits what they send to you. It doesn’t stop your messages reaching them, so the simplest habit is to tell them who your agent is at the start.
I bumped into the seller in the driveway. Can I ask them why they’re selling?
No rule stops you. Section 14 binds registrants, not buyers or sellers. The risk is that conversations go both ways, and the seller learns as much about you as you learn about them, and will probably tell their agent. Give your question to your own agent and let it go through the agents.
Should I tell the listing agent which other houses I’m looking at?
It doesn’t help you. If the other houses are weaker, it tells the seller’s side they’re ahead. If they’re stronger, it starts a comparison you’re better off having with your own agent. The listing agent’s confidentiality duty under s.12 of the Code covers their client’s information, not yours.
Should I assume the house is recording while I talk with my partner during a showing?
Yes, as a working habit. Whether a homeowner’s recording is lawful under s.184 of the Criminal Code depends on the facts, including whether it was a “private communication” as defined in s.183. Your position doesn’t depend on how that question would be decided if you simply keep budget and strategy talk for after you leave.
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